Back in May M’Guphynn media created the super-awesome Cosplay Quarantine Music Video. This time cosplayers have submitted their videos showing how donning a mask is an important way to help curb the spread of Covid 19. My jellyfish friend Clara and I (as Tsukimi) joined in, as you will see. Check out the resulting Heroes Wear Masks Cosplay music video below!
Cosplayers around the world who had been working hard on their costumes have found that the cons they were preparing for were cancelled thanks to Covid19. Cosplayers, however, are nothing if not creative. My friends at M’Guphynn Media, who usually bring their fancy equipment to cons each year and make cosplay music videos with the resulting footage, put together this awesome Cosplay Music Video: Quarantine Edition, made up of submissions from cosplayers (including myself as Rize Kamishiro at 2.36 and my doggos as Harry Potter and Mario at 0.24 and 3:04 respectivelty!)
Check it out! ❤
I’m working on a new cosplay project that I hope to debut at Calgary Expo in April. I really enjoyed sharing the process of making my Krul Tepes cosplay, so I’ve decided to do the same with this cosplay: Rize Kamishiro from Tokyo Ghoul!
I’ll keep adding to this page as I get further in the building and sewing of this project. I can’t wait to try on the sclera lenses and wig, and get my kagune attached to the costume!
In a couple days I will be heading to Edmonton Comic Expo with my hubby! I’ll be cosplaying as Krul Tepes, and also presenting my panel There’s a Graphic Novel for Everyone (Yes, Even You!)
I’ve been packing everything up slowly but surely, and thought it would be fun to share some of my must-haves that I always bring to cons.
So, besides the obvious things to pack if you are traveling for a con (toiletries, your phone, your cosplay) here are some things that I always pack:
- Portable Steamer
I am such a big fan of steamers- they are so much easier and quicker for getting out wrinkles in everyday clothes or costumes than using an iron (which I have a tendency to accidentally burn my clothes with!!!)
The first con I ever went to, I hauled my gigantic stand-up steamer into the hotel room, and it was a pain in the butt, but I’ve since discovered portable steamers, and my life has never been the same. I bring this thing everywhere I travel!
2. Garment Bag
I bought this garment bag for one of my tap dance costumes, and it’s awesome for safely transporting my cosplay- I especially love the pockets in the front for storing little accessories and undergarments.
3. SFX bag
If you are doing a cosplay that involves any sort of blood, spirit gum, latex, etc. it’s good to have a separate bag for those. I always wrap up liquids because somehow they always manage to leak.
4. OH NOES pouch
My Mom bought this little pouch for me for my wedding, and it’s amazing. It has little mini versions of a bunch of items you might need in a pinch: breath drops, safety pins, deodorant, lip chap, floss, even itty-bitty containers of hairspray and clear nail polish!
A lot of cons have Cosplay Rescue/Repair booths now which may provide some similar items if you need a quick and simple fix or freshen up with your cosplay.
5. Bits and Pieces
Just to be on the safe side, I bring some extra scraps of material that match the ones I used for my cosplay- I haven’t had to use any yet, but I imagine I will be so glad I packed them if someday I get a sleeve caught on something, or bend over and hear a terrifying ripping sound!!!
6. Makeup Bag
I usually create a makeup bag specifically for the character I am portraying- it will include my basic everyday items (bb cream, powder, etc) as well as some more unique cosplay makeup like flesh colored lipstick, red eyeliner, and any other uncommon types needed for the look.
7. Hair and Wig Bag
Wigs are frustrating things, especially long ones. I’ve learned to wrap my wigs up gently, folding the hair strands into the bag. I also include detangler, a metal brush (metal won’t make your wig staticy) and gels and creams for styling, as well as wig caps, bobby pins, and other hair management stuff.
8. Tripod and Camera Accessories
Whether you are using your phone or a dedicated camera, it’s a good idea to bring a tripod, and maybe even a selfie stick- you might want to get pictures with groups who are cosplaying the same series as you, or you might find a really awesome photo location that makes you want to prop your camera up for the perfect shot.
9. Portable Charger
Portable chargers can be really useful if you will be relying on your phone for communication, transportation, information, or other ations. When I am traveling I often rely on google maps a lot to help me navigate, so I make sure to have a backup battery with me.
10. Catch-all bag
I’ve learned that, no matter how comprehensively I pack my travel bags, I like to have a giant bag to put all the smaller bags in- this is also useful if you are really busy and have to scramble to pack everything before checking out of your hotel at the end of your trip- just chuck everything into the bag and deal with it later! Winners stores as well as Ikea sell giant bags at the checkout counters that are pretty durable.
11. Shopping Bag
I always pack an extra bag to put any purchases in while i’m at the con- sometimes if you’re lucky you might get a nice bag when you check in to the con, but often bags are hard to come by and you might end up with lots of little bags from various vendors- it’s much easier to have a larger, sturdy bag to carry your goodies around in.
A lot of cons have started offering free water from coolers, or maybe they have fountains, but some only have bottled water for sale, which is usually overpriced.
13. Ca$h Money $$$$$
While some vendors will likely have debit on demand, many will rely on cash at most cons. Right now I only have a partially ripped $20 and a few coins, but I’ll likely stop at my bank before leaving so I have cash on hand when I arrive and don’t get dinged with service fees at an ATM.
14. Business(?) Cards
Ok so these aren’t really business cards, but just cards with my social media handles on them. I usually run into a few like-minded people and it’s handy to have a card for sharing info to stay in touch!
Sometimes at cons you get stuck waiting in a line for something for quite a while, or you are so active running around that you forget to take a break and eat something. In such cases, it’s very helpful to have a granola bar or some kind of snack to hold you over until you can get some proper food into your belly!
That’s all I can think of at the moment- did I miss anything? Happy con time!
I’m registered for the Edmonton Comic and Entertainment Expo Costume Contest, and this is the first year I am entering the Craftsmanship category, as I’m sewing and crafting my entire costume myself (learning how to use a sewing machine along the way!)
I need to submit my progress pictures, so I figured what better way to compile them than on my blog? I’ll add the pictures here as I post them to my Instagram.
Here is what I’ve done so far (my Instagram links often have more than one picture- hover over the picture and use the left and right arrows to scroll through)
The day I decided on my cosplay
An Embarrassing Blunder
Struggling With the Wig
Butchering the Wig (I ended up scrapping this wig because I wasn’t happy with it- LOOK AT HOW CHOPPY IT IS! I can barely style my own hair, let alone this thing!)
Learning how to Sew and Gather a Skirt!!!
Slowly But Surely…
Arukanu: Purse Version!
More Shots of Arukanu
NEW WIG! I ended up ordering another wig because I pretty much ruined the first one… T-T
Hidden Zipper Trick!
These (Fake) Boots Are Made For Walking
And That’s Just What They’ll Do!
Put a Bow On It
I Took These Pics With My Nose
FINALLY FINISHED!!! ❤
I had a ton of fun at the Expo!
I even got some professional pics done with Luciddream photography, and my own Series 1 trading card with Canada Cosplay! This was definitely a really special cosplay milestone for me!
We just got back from Animethon, a 3 day anime convention in Edmonton. This is Animethon’s 25th anniversary, and it’s expanded so much over time that they had to move it to a new location this year: the Shaw Convention Centre.
I left work early on Friday afternoon (THANKS TO MY LOVELY MANAGER!!!) and hubby and I did the 5 hour drive to Edmonton. He was super tired when we checked into our hotel, so I did the 6 minute walk of awkward to the con solo in my InuYasha dress.
What Have I Gotten Myself Into
When I arrived at the centre, I registered and immediately got in line for the Hatsune Miku vocaloid concert. I was an hour early and the lineup was already out the theater hall, into the hallway, and down the stairs. After about half an hour of standing alone on the stairs and sweating in my voluminous yukata-style Robe of Rat, I started feeling a little gross and tired. I was very happy when we started moving into the concert hall.
As soon as I entered the cavernous room I scurried up to the standing area (which wasn’t as full as I was expecting- most people chose seats) and I got out my light sticks. Seeing adorable Miku, whose rhythm games I adore, dancing, singing, and playing guitar in front of me accompanied by some really talented musicians was SUPER COOL. @metadatastudios put on a great show.
After the concert I chatted with a few cosplayers and attendees, and met up with a friend to attend the idolish7 panel where the presenters showed us some clips and shared some info about the characters – now I really want to get into idolish7, it looks hillarious and cute!
After the panel I headed back to the hotel because I was exhausted.
Disqualified from the Cosplay Contest ^-^’
On Saturday morning, Dustin and I headed out to the con together and explored the vendors and artists alley. I couldn’t stop squeeing at all of the adorable plushies everywhere, there are just so many ridiculously cute stuffies from Japan!
After spending All The Money, we checked out the gaming hall, and I tried out the visual novel Love Hues ( @love_hues_game )- the full version isn’t ready yet (I played the demo) but it has a very cute style, college setting, diverse characters, and is LGBTQIA+ friendly! On their twitter it says the full release is expected later this year. They gave me a free poster and pin just for playing and filling out a short survey about my game experience.
I spent more time exploring and chatting with people, getting my Tsukimi (Princess Jellyfish) cosplay ready for the cosplay contest which would start at 2, but in a very un-Shaunalike move, I missed the cosplay rehearsal! I can’t believe I didn’t check my emails more thoroughly, but I was disqualified T-T oh well, no biggie. I still had the Take The Stage prelims later that day to look forward to…
Tap Dancing On Carpet Sounds Like Nothing
Take the Stage is like a talent show, and I had hastily prepared a little tap dance to the opening song of Princess Jellyfish (Koko Dake no Hanashi by Chatmonchy). It included some really basic tap techniques and of course my giant Clara plushie was part of it- I planned to lift her gracefully into the air and twirl her around. It all sounded really lovely in my head.
Anyway, even though the finals were to take place on the main stage, the prelims ended up taking place in a teeny panel room with a carpeted floor. The old thought experiment came to mind: If a Shauna tapdances on the carpet and no-one hears it, does it make a sound? After watching some of the others perform (singing mainly) it was my turn.
I’m not the most impressive tap dancer in the best of circumstances (I’ve only been dancing for 2 years), and Dustin came and took a video of my performance but I haven’t seen it yet… not sure if I want to to be honest! XD
The carpet threw me off a bit, as well as nerves, and I ended up forgetting my choreography halfway through, improvising some random moves. Heck, I had fun though, and I don’t regret it. If I go next year I think I’d like to try singing!
I was kind of low-key hoping I wouldn’t make it to the finals (which take place on Sunday) because we wanted to head out early and do some shopping and eating before driving back home, and I was in luck(?) because I didn’t manage to make it to the finals, haha.
Honey, Do You Love Me? WHAT HAPPENS AT ANIMETHON STAYS AT ANIMETHON (Except for blog posts, apparently)
Dustin peaced out to the hotel and I headed to my next attraction- I had bought a ticket to the Butler Cafe. I joined a lineup of people waiting and was soon ushered into the Riverview Cafe room. I was alone- my friend wanted to come but the tickets were sold out unfortunately- and I was escorted to a table of strangers. Once everyone was seated it was apparent that we had one extra seat beside me left, so I gave Clara her own seat!
Each table had their own butler assigned with a bell to ring for service. Our butler had a fancy name I can’t remember and horns on his(?) head. He served us tea and choice of dessert (tiramisu or vanilla creme brulee). I opted for the creme brulee, which was very tasty but didn’t have a seared top to crack T-T it was more like a delicious sugary pudding or custard.
For a moment I was wondering if I had spent $16 for a scalding cup of tea and a dollop of pudding, but then the head butler went up onto a stage to introduce himself and the other butlers, and I realized that there was going to be some theatrics involved. Everyone at each table was given a slip of paper with a dare on it. They could issue these dares to the butlers as they pleased.
A wild hour ensued with butlers embarassing eachother, professing their love to eachother, performing kabe-don, singing on the stage, and other shenanigans.
While my butler was at our table fulfilling someone’s dare to draw her a picture, I asked if I could use my dare ticket: Your Butler must play “Honey, If You Love Me” with another Butler of your choosing.
“Honey, If You Love Me” is a game where one person gets in the face of the other and tries any trick they can to get them to smile while saying “Honey, if you love me, won’t you please, please smile?”. In my drama classes in high school, this usually involved silly voices and flirtatious gestures.
I chose Haru (the only name I remembered from the introductions). Our butler called him over and showed him my ticket, saying “She chose you”. Haru either misunderstood or chose to ignore the part where he was supposed to play the game with my table’s butler, and instead he came to face me.
“Oh, so you want to play with me?”
I stammered “wha- um, with me? Isn’t it- with the But- My Butler- I was not prepared for this…” I could hear the members of my table giggling behind me.
My butler decided it was more fun to watch Haru play with me instead, and allowed him to proceed. He got down on one knee in front of me where I was sitting in my chair, took my hand, and said “Honey, if you love me, won’t you please smile?” I summoned up the skills I had practiced in drama class more than 10 years ago and maintained a flat, resting bitch face, but then he leaned in and pressed his cheek against mine for just a second, and I looked away, blushing and smiling.
Yeah, he won. I was never good at that game…
When I went back to the hotel later that night I told my husband what happened and he teased me for “cheating on him with a butler” 😉
I Didn’t Make it To The Finals So I Guess I’ll Go To The Concerts
I got the email saying who got into the Take The Stage Finals, and I didn’t make it, which meant we’d be able to sleep in a bit and wouldn’t have to rush around the next day. As such, I decided to make the most of it and check out the concerts of the night. I headed once more to the concert hall still in full cosplay with my giant Clara plushie clutched in front of me.
Kanako Ito was first- she is a singer known for her work on visual novels, including Steins Gate, which I am a fan of! She was so cool on stage with her flowing dress, sunhat, and powerful voice.
Soon after, ROOKiEZ is PUNK’D came out and performed a full concert for us. They are so cool! I was especially taken with the bassist Ryota who was closest to where I was standing- headbanging and swinging his hair around wildly, aiming his bass at us like it was a machinegun. They really got the audience going, clapping, jumping- I got a good workout, and since I had Clara waved her tentacles in time with the music and raised her into the air while cheering after each song.
When the concerts were over I rushed back into the hall to get autographs. I bought a ROOKiEZ towel to be signed, and I used my basic Japanese to tell the band that the concert was really fun and that they spoke great English (because the lead singer had been apologizing for his lack of English, but he spoke very well!). They were very kind and thankful.
Kanako Ito signed my pass for me, and she was so sweet. I told her that I really enjoyed her singing, and she complimented my Japanese, then I complimented her English and she said 本当に!? HONTOU NI!? ありがと arigato! (REALLY!? Thank you!)
I staggered back to the hotel a sweaty mess, wig askew. I hastily changed into my nightgown (throwing my cosplay every which way), washed my face, brushed my teeth, and fell into bed sooooo ready to sleep.
It Ain’t A Trip To Edmonton Until I Get My Crepe
We checked out of our hotel and headed to West Edmonton Mall to do some quick shopping. Because we had spent most of the weekend eating complimentary hotel cheese and granola bars, I had one mission first and foremost: Get a crepe from Crepeworks. This has been my tradition at West Ed since I was a teen. I usually opt for the strawberry or blueberry options, but this time I chose a simple Custard Delight. Soooo gooood.
Satisfied after the custardy goodness, I did some speed walking, skirting and dodging the annoyingly slow and spread-out families and couples who were browsing at a snails pace and simultaneously blocking the walking path- in these situations I can’t help but quietly call to mind Ludacris’ “MOVE B*TCH, GET OUT THE WAYYYY, GET OUT THE WAY B*TCH GET OUT THE WAYyyyy”! I’d never say something like that out loud, but we don’t go to Edmonton that often, so when I have some shopping to do it’s SERIOUS BUSINESS, OK!?
I mainly did some shopping at Oomomo, the new Japanese store where most items are $3. They have these really great acrylics that I love for raising my figurines in their case, and for displaying items at craft shows.
After the mall we stopped at another of our usual spots- New Indian Village (formerly New Asian Village)- they have an amazing buffet spread with curries, naan, spring rolls, salads, chicken, all kinds of stuff. I also love their desserts, like gulab jamun, kheer, and jalebi.
Lastly, we visited the new Miniso for the first time. It’s super cool! Dustin loved the fun tech accessories they have, while I lost my mind over the super cute plushies and beverage containers.
We drove back home singing to rock ballads most of the way. It was a fun little weekend trip!
Cosplay is a total mystery to some people- why do we dress up as these characters, painstakingly crafting elaborate costumes, weapons and accessories? It’s expensive, it’s a lot of work, and some people look down upon it as being childish or cringey.
What’s with cosplay?
A little on my cosplay history…
My first time cosplaying was at Edmonton Expo in 2015. It was my first con ever, and I went as InuYasha. While my costume was designed by the amazing SkyCreation on Etsy, everything else was of my own making- the Tetsusaiga sword was my first weapon build, and it got tons of stares and photos- it was almost too long to fit in our truck!
A lot of my blood and sweat went into that Tetsusaiga… cutting glued industrial foam with an xacto knife is a dangerous business o.o
InuYasha’s long haired wig was a pain in the butt, but luckily the ears I made worked well when sewn into it. I tried creating my own Beads of Subjugation with clay but they ended up being ridiculously heavy, so strung together some store-bought beads instead. I learned the trick of making realistic fangs out of acrylic nails and I’ve never looked back!
After cosplaying as InuYasha I was hooked, and I have since cosplayed Rin Matsuoka, Laito Sakamaki, Tsukimi Kurashita, and soon Krul Tepes (in progress)!
What inspires you to cosplay?
Usually I choose a cosplay project because I absolutely love the character- whether that’s a character that I am attracted to (my initial cross-plays of InuYasha, Rin, Laito) or a character that I admire or feel an affinity towards, like Tsukimi from Princess Jellyfish.
I have also started looking more at the aesthetics and style of a character- it’s especially fun to portray a character that has a unique and eye-grabbing style. For example, I cosplayed as Laito because he is my favorite character from Diabolik Lovers, but I almost chose to cosplay Kanato because he has awesome purple hair, his plushie Teddy, dark facial features that would be fun to replicate with makeup, and a really cool outfit.
On the flipside of this, after having lots of struggles with long wigs, I might reconsider any future cosplay choices if they have crazy long hair!
I also consider the feasability of creating the costume- i’m still a beginner at sewing and crafting, and although in the beginning I purchased some of my pieces from online sellers, my goal is to create all of my costumes and accessories myself going forward.
What got you interested in cosplay?
Cosplay was on my radar ever since I was a young kid, I think. I’m sure I didn’t know “cosplay” was a word back then, but I used to dream about dressing up as the blue Power Ranger or Sailor Mercury. I used to pretend to be these characters when I was playing with my friends, but there was always this yearning to wear the costumes and take on the role of someone else.
Halloween was thrilling for me, and I’ve loved getting into costume for school plays and things like that- cosplay was a natural progression, I guess.
What does cosplay mean to you and what does it bring to your life?
Cosplay does lots of things for me. It gives me a new way to be creative and learn new skills- I’ve designed my own accessories and weapons, learned how to use a sewing machine, dabbled with costume and sfx makeup, and improvised materials and costume fixes.
It also gives me an immediate sense of community. As soon as I stepped into the expo hall as InuYasha, strangers began approaching and complimenting my handicraft, expressing their love of the series, and so on. I call conventions “being with my people” because it’s so fun to feel completely free to dork out and celebrate that dorkiness with others.
I love seeing diverse people of all different backgrounds and abilities, from all walks of life, young and old, coming together in celebration and shenanigans because of their shared geekiness. It’s a beautiful thing to be a part of!
Who do you cosplay for?
I cosplay for myself, because I truly enjoy it, and also for the geeky community that I meet at things like conventions. Just as I feel excitement approaching someone who is playing one of my favorite characters, I love it when I see and hear excitement from others about my cosplay. When people ask to get a picture with me, it makes my day. There is something so special and magical about being tapped on the back by Miroku when I am browsing anime dvds at a giant nerdy tradeshow, and getting a picture together!
Is cosplaying freeing for you, either to be more yourself or explore different parts of yourself?
Being around like-minded people certainly does make me feel freer to be my squeeful fangirl self without restraint. Since starting my cosplay journey I feel more confident being bold and sharing my individuality even when i’m not surrounded by other geeks. It’s empowering!
Cosplay also allows me to bring a bit of the theatrical into my life. On the one hand, I get a chance to play with my own look and take on aspects of characters I find similar to myself. On the other hand, cosplaying a character like Laito, who has a personality much stronger than mine, is a lot of fun.
Participating in cosplay competitions is very rewarding even when you don’t win anything, and I am planning to continue signing up for them in the future! It’s not often I get to be on stage with hundreds of people watching me. It’s a crazy experience.
^Awkward Tsukimi shuffle off the staaaggeeee! (Picture rights belong to Edmonton Expo)
I was compiling a list of nerdy titles for a library display today and thought I should share some of them here!
They are listed alphabetically by last name of author. Enjoy!
Geek Mom: Projects, Tips, and Adventures for Moms and Their 21st Century Families by Natania Barron et al. (2012)
Geek Knits: Over 30 Projects for Fantasy Fanatics, Science Fiction Friends, and Knitting Nerds by Toni Carr (2015)
Fandom: Fic writers, Vidders, Gamers, Artists, and Cosplayers By Francesca Davis DiPiazza (2018)
Superfandom: How Our Obsessions are Changing What We Buy by Zoe Fraade-Blanar and Aaron Glazer (2017)
Epic Cosplay Costumes: a Step-By-Step Guide to Making and Sewing Your Own Costume Designs by Kristie Good (2016)
1000 Incredible Costume & Cosplay Ideas: a Showcase of Creative Characters from Anime, Manga, Video Games, Movies, Comics, and More! By Yaya Han et al. (2013)
The Geek Feminist Revolution by Kameron Hurley (2016)
I Find Your Lack of Faith Disturbing: Star Wars and the Triumph of Geek Culture by A.D. Jameson (2018)
Fic: Why Fanfiction is Taking Over the World by Anne Jamison et al. (2013)
And the Geek Shall Inherit the Earth by Carljoe Javier (2011)
100 First Words for Little Geeks by Kyle Kershner (2018)
The Geek’s Cookbook by Lecomte (2018)
The Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy: a Handbook for Geek Girls by Sam Maggs (2015)
Geek Tattoo: Pop Culture in the Flesh by Issa Maoihibou (2017)
The Secret Loves of Geek Girls edited by Hope Nicholson (Anthology, 2015)
Nerdy Nummies Cookbook: Sweet Treats for the Geek in All of Us by Rosanna Pansino (2015)
The Geeky Chef Cookbook: Real-Life Recipes for Your Favorite Fantasy Foods by Cassandra Reeder (2015)
Comic-con and the Business of Pop Culture: What the World’s Wildest Trade Show Can Tell Us About the Future of Entertainment… by Rob Salkowitz (2012)
Geek Parenting: What Joffrey, Jor-El, Maleficent, and the McFlys Teach Us About Raising a Family by Stephen H. Segal and Valya Dudyca Lypescu (2016)…- 649.1 SEG
Geek Wisdom: The Sacred Teachings of Nerd Culture by Stephen H. Segal et al. (2011)
Tokyo Geek’s Guide: Manga, Anime, Gaming, Cosplay, Toys, Idols More- The Ultimate Guide to Japan’s Otaku Culture by Gianni Simone (2017)
Cosplay Basics: A Beginner’s Guide to the Art of Costume Play by Yuki Takasou (2015)
A Geek in ___ series by Tuttle Publishing (Various Authors)
Getting a Life: The Social Worlds of Geek Culture by Benjamin Woo (2018)
I wish I could find the exact quote; I read a book once, a good few years ago (I can’t even remember what book it was). I have no recollection what the book itself was even about, but I do remember this: the author quoted someone who said something like “if you aren’t actively creating, you’re just a consumer”. That simple, harsh truth really stuck with me.
Back then I realized that, for a variety of reasons at that particular moment in my life (okay… decade of my life) I was barely creating anything. I was solely consuming in all meanings of the word- consuming food, entertainment, and material goods mindlessly. I wasn’t using my creative mind in my job, in my hobbies, or in my day to day life. I was spending way too much time scrolling endless junk articles on my phone. I’d lost my teenage penchant for writing poems and playing with visual art.
^Ignoring my friends for my phone? >.>
I don’t want to come off as preachy- technology is super useful, and we use our cell phones for so much more than distraction seeking. Plus, it’s fun and recharging to do mindless things once in a while, and I have abandoned the term “guilty pleasure” because if you love something, why should you feel guilty about enjoying it? Speaking of which, read this awesome blog post by @biblionyan on the topic of guilty pleasures!
But that’s the thing; this “guilty pleasure” pastime of scrolling and losing myself in click-bait wasn’t actually enjoyable for me. It was just a habitual, unfulfilling distraction I automatically turned to because it was easy and gave me a hit of dopamine.
I knew I wanted to spend more time creating again and really using my free time to learn new things and develop new skills, but for some reason this mindset just didn’t stick. I’d read an inspirational book, or watch a documentary, and feel motivated- for a couple of days. Then I’d fall back into the same stale routines.
Happily, I have now gotten to a place where I am creating and living so much more again. I am writing, drawing, painting, dancing, studying, traveling, and learning new skills like public speaking. I’m seeking out new opportunities rather than hiding from them. This has come about in the last two to three years. How did I get my creative spark back? Why hadn’t I been able to reignite it sooner?
My anxiety and depression were holding me back.
I unpacked about my struggles with anxiety and depression in a blog post recently, which you can read here. Long story short, after years of battling these issues, talking to counselors, and trying lots of methods unsuccessfully to manage, I finally tried medication prescribed by my doctor, and it helps me so much. Life is exciting and fun again. I feel like the old self I once knew and lost somewhere between adolescence and adulthood.
The passion for my job at the library, which I knew was lurking inside me, finally bloomed. I worked on building up my self-confidence from my lowest low. I started seeking out new opportunities instead of waiting to be asked. I began using my creativity more in work projects, and at home.
Feeling lifted out of the muck, I sought out new hobbies: handbell choir, dance classes, sewing, yoga, cosplay, crafting, dabbling with ukulele, volunteering at the SPCA. I even helped out with some small roles in a local web-series created by-nerds-for-nerds. Speaking of which, my dorky fangirl self, who had been hiding in a sort of shame cave, fearing judgement of others, emerged proudly once again.
I started creating visual art again, something that I had largely abandoned in the height of my anxiety and depression. Before long it became a familiar habit. I get a regular urge to create art now, and when I get into my flow several hours can pass without my realizing.
I’ve since started sharing my art in small local galleries & markets, and online. Sharing my art and creative projects with the world brings me joy.
I think that everyone has the capacity to be creative in their own way. Sometimes we get bogged down by a narrow idea of what “creativity” means, but we can be creative in so many different ways- at our jobs, around our homes, through the clothes and accessories we wear, or in our gardens, for example. Right now I am slowly but surely working on a goal of being more creative in the kitchen with baking and cooking.
Speaking of infusing creativity into our daily lives, recently I came across this extremely interesting Ted Talk by Ingrid Fetell Lee about the roots of joy.
She presented her insights about some of the universal triggers of joy as discovered through studies of people all around the world- things like bright colours, soft shapes, fractal patterns, novelty, abundance, a feeling of light and air.
Two take-aways that stuck with me:
- Why, if these playful, colourful, and creative expressions bring us joy and increase our happiness and productivity, do we design so many aspects of our homes, offices, hospitals, schools, and streets in uninspiring, predictable shapes, and shades of beige and grey?
- Why do we judge people who embrace colour and creativity in their own lives, in what they wear, how they decorate and so on, by labeling them as kooky, emotional, unprofessional, or “girly”?
I think we can learn so much from people who incorporate fun fearlessly into their lives (or rather, refuse to let go of it just because they are getting older). I’m fascinated by people like Iris Apfel, Yayoi Kusama and Elizabeth Sweetheart who present themselves however feels right to them, and don’t give a flying fluevog what society thinks of them for being different. Thanks to social media like Instagram, it’s easier than ever to find unapologetically creative people and bold sartorial inspiration.
A potential struggle for being creative is the busy lives we lead- there were times when I thought “how will I possibly have time to finish this personal project”? But as with anything in life, you make time for what is important to you, what makes you happy and fulfills you. I work on art during my work breaks sometimes, and because I consider my art time important for my well-being, I will pass up invitations or events on occasion if I know I haven’t had time to paint in a while. I am lucky to work at a library where I have the option of using my creativity on a regular basis such as illustrating the Joke of the Day, making fun book displays, or drawing pictures to accompany my power-point slides!
Yes, I still check my phone, yes I still watch Netflix and play video games, but when I do I always aspire to be mindful and intentional with this use of my precious time, and avoid getting lost in zombie-like distraction. Time is the most important commodity we have, and in this often cruel and unfair world I’m privileged to be a healthy woman living in a safe country where I have the gift of free time to explore my creativity. I don’t want to squander that.
Freeing myself from depression and intense anxiety has enabled me to enjoy my life and creativity to the fullest. I am glad that the days of dragging my feet through life are behind me. After 10 years of waking up with sighs of fatigue and defeat, sighs of contentment are a welcome change. There are so many things I want to do with my life that I don’t know where to start, so I am dipping my toes into everything.
I wish I could share this wake-up call with the world (well, that’s what a blog is for, I guess) but I think that, first and foremost, it’s something that you need to truly want for yourself.
Dear Elijah Wood,
My friends have been tagging me in posts like these ^ with lots of exclamation marks to let me know you are coming to the Calgary Expo next weekend; this is because I have awesome friends who know that I enjoy travelling to the nerd expos, that I am a huge fan of yours, and that LOTR was my first ever fandom. Unfortunately I won’t be able to realize my dream of meeting you this time, but I’ll get to that in a bit.
Now, about The Lord of the Rings. My Dad got me into the books when I was 10 years old. He wanted to make sure I read them before the movies came out, and for that I am eternally grateful. The books were (and are) life-changingly excellent, and catapulted me into a lifelong love of reading. The movies took my interest to the next level- Dad and I bonded over the cinematic masterpiece of the trilogy as each movie came out. I got “the shakes” after watching The Fellowship of the Ring in the theatre because it affected me so much (ok, maybe that was also partially due to sitting tensely and staring at an illuminated screen for 3 hours straight).
^ Freaking iconic!
LOTR became my obsession, I was seeking it, seeking it, all my thought was bent on it. I had a literal shrine in my bedroom with everything from a paper-mache Sting dagger to a Gandalf the White cardboard standee that my shy mother somehow haggled off of a movie store employee because she knew it would bring me joy. I took a replica One Ring off of a bookmark and attached it to a necklace that I wore to school regularly- I remember being called “Ring Girl” because of it. I got a set of plastic Fellowship figurines for Christmas one year and took them into the snowy woods with my camera, attempting to recreate scenes from the movies. (The resulting photos were about as impressive as you’d expect).
Elijah, you were also my first ever crush. Because I’m a freaking weirdo, I realized you were my first crush in The Fellowship of The Ring when Frodo was stabbed with the Morgul blade by the Nazgul and his eyes became all pale and creepy.
^ boyfriend material
I had an account on one of your fansites where I posted in forums for the first time in my young life, squeeing enviously over posts where other girls recounted times they met you in person at various events. I frequented lordoftherings.net and refreshed the page every 10 seconds so I could hear every version of the randomized intro “Hi, this is [actor name] and welcome to lordoftherings.net”, but I especially got excited to hear your voice.
While my tween obsession of near-stalker levels has faded, I am definitely your fan forever.
I tried drawing you as Frodo a few weeks ago. I wish I could say that I cut the left side of the picture like that for artistic or compositional reasons, but really it was because I made your right eye freakishly large. Sorry.
I’m a married woman now, but once a fangirl always a fangirl. I’m an eternal Ringer- as both a Lord of the Rings fan as well as a member of a handbell choir- how about that. Speaking of handbell choir, I was in the novice group previously but I lost my mind and managed to shoehorn my way into the advanced group when I found out they are learning none other than THEMES FROM THE FREAKING LORD OF THE RINGS!
Last year I had the privilege of meeting and getting a picture with Mr. John Rhys-Davies at the Edmonton Comic & Entertainment Expo. He complimented me on my cosplay. I told him “you’re my favorite dwarf forever” and he said “aw, I love you”. My little hobbit heart grew three sizes that day.
I also managed to get a pic with Sauron himself. He’s actually a really nice guy.
The year before that I met Billy Boyd and was entranced by his Beecake concert. Bought all the CDs!
^ (Sorry Billy, the real picture is on an external harddrive tucked away somewhere and I am too lazy to find it at the moment, but here is a blurry picture of the picture of me and Billy Boyd, screen-grabbed from a picture of me holding the picture of me and Billy Boyd!)
I’d very much love the opportunity to meet you too, Elijah. I was more than ready to drive or fly to Calgary to see you.
But Elijah, would you believe that the very weekend you are visiting is the same weekend I am going to my first ever Library Conference, and as a speaker? I have worked at a library for 7 years and in September I am beginning my Master program with the goal of becoming a librarian. At the Alberta Library Conference in Jasper, Friday afternoon, I am doing a presentation session on the versatility of the graphic novel format. I’m super passionate about it and excited for the opportunity (been prepping it and working on my public speaking skills for several months!), but I can’t say i’m not bummed out that I am missing the opportunity to see you at the expo in Calgary.
So, since I can’t say it there, let me say it here- I think you’re Terrific with a capital T, you gave us the perfect Frodo and made my tween heart flutter- thank you for coming to Alberta- I hope you have fun in Calgary, and I’m sorry I’ll miss you when you’re here!
P.S. if you have time, feel free to swing by Jasper and crash the Alberta Library Convention! You know you want another adventure in the mountains! XD